This article includes a quarter summary of the book “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie so that our aim to give you an essence of what really is inside the book could be achieved.
Rule #1: If you want to gather honey, then don’t kick over the beehive
On 7 May 1931 in New York City, the most sensational Manhunt was carried.A Police car was passing by a lonely road which was visited by almost nobody.The two police officer saw a suspicious looking car. A man was in the car with his girlfriend.The officer asked the man to show his ID.
The next day another police car was passing by the same suspicious looking car. And again another police officer asked the man to show his ID. The man drew his gun and shot the officer in the middle of his forehead.
The NewYork city police were after this guy.He was seen in a hotel near manhattan.Police captured the hotel and asked him to surrender. He was in his room and he came to know that police had come to take him by the announcements the chief officer made.He was in his hotel room and in his last few minuted before getting caught he wrote a letter to his mother saying that “I have a soft heart, I did not want to kill the officer, but they misbehaved with me. Nobody understands that it’s not my fault and now they have come to put me behind bars for the rest of my life.”
The man killed the officer and still thinks that it was not his mistake. It shows us that it’s only the wise people who accept their mistake. Dale Carnegie in his book “how to win friends and influence people” tells the reader not to criticize, condemn or complain. And always be open to seeing the truth.
Lesson Number 1:Don’t criticise ,condemn or complain.
Rule #2: The Big Secret of dealing with people
There is only one way to get the other person to do what you want. And that is, by making that person willing to do that thing.Now it can be made to be done by that person, by pointing a gun on his forehead.Or by understanding what the other person wants.Things that most of the people want is:
5.Life in the hereafter
6.Fulfillment of sexual desires
7.A feeling of importance
So what we all can offer all the time, anytime, to another person is the feeling of importance.We can offer this by giving the person honest and sincere appreciation.Now we have to understand that, not any sort of compliment will do to give appreciation, the compliment has to be genuine.I myself have learned a few gestures which tell the person that he/she is important.Some of them are hugging the other person after I have met him, talking much more about them in the conversation than talking about myself.
Lesson number 2: Give honest, sincere appreciation and make the other person feel important.
Rule # 3: He who can do this has the whole world with him.Those who cannot do this, walk a lonely path.
What food do you like the most? I like pizza more than anything. What if I go fishing and bait the fishes with pizza instead of worms.I guess the fishes won’t be hooked. That’s the thing that works for people.You have to understand that different things work with different people. You cannot have the same type of conversation with everyone, you cannot talk about the same thing with everyone.Everyone is different.This it the thing you have to remember whether you are dealing with children or chimpanzees.
Stan Novak a father of three children came home after work. He saw his youngest son, Tim, screaming in the living room.Tim had to go to his kindergarten the next day.Stan’s normal reaction could have been to tell Tim to go his room and make up his mind but Stan decided to think as a 3-year-old.And why would a 3-year-old like to go the kindergarten? So Stan, his wife, and his other 2 sons started finger painting in the kitchen.And suddenly they all started having fun.Tim saw them having fun and wanted to do finger painting.Stan told him that to learn finger painting he has to go to the kindergarten. The next day Tim woke up early and was waiting to go to the kindergarten.
Lesson Number 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
What change did this book bring in my life?
After reading this book
1. I have been more open to listening to people.
2. I turn conflicts with people into my own benefits.
3. I am seen as a much more interesting person to others.
4. I make friends much more easily.
5. I now have the ability to connect with anyone.